how's it goin?
Written collaboratively — taking turns typing each other’s responses — at Cosby Campground, Tennessee.
Brooke: What’s been the most surprising thing about van life?
Doug: This has been a big fucking surprise today, [gesturing toward the MaxxFan — we hit a violent rainstorm heading out of Gatlinburg and some of the water had leaked from the fairing around it] and not in a good way.
Brooke: Yeah…
Doug: But no, everything’s going as expected. Those feelings of… sorry, I see some birdies… of oh my god, we’re almost out of water, or we need food. We knew those all were coming.
Brooke: Did we though?
Doug: There’s a difference between knowing and experiencing. Like on your bike tour or the Appalachian Trail. You knew what you had to do —
Brooke: — in theory —
Doug: — but until you’re in it you don’t appreciate the gravity of it. Which you could say about any big undertaking. There’s been a lot of big satisfaction, but as far as surprises go, nothing’s blown me away.
Brooke: For me, it was getting water.
Doug: Yea, once you’re immersed in van life, you’re like, “Oh shit, water goes pretty fast.” I think most people can’t even comprehend not having enough water. Yea, well you know better than anybody.
Brooke: Yeah, in Malawi, I used to have three buckets of water. And lugging that water from the borehole to my house, even though it was like 25 steps away, still made me appreciate that that water wasn’t free. Especially during dry season. It’s such a satisfaction to have all of your jugs full. It makes you feel safe, like, at least you have that.
Getting water in Malawi during dry season.
And then we talked awhile about water:
how we need to get an auxiliary water tank
how paying $10 for 10 gallons of water at an RV park taught us the importance of filling up our water tanks when it’s free
bodies of water that we’ve had strong relationships with.
Brooke: This pond in the White Mountains of NH, Lake Malawi, and the pond in the woods in our backyard growing up
Doug: The Pacific Ocean, the Puget Sound
Doug (sipping his Rolling Rock and gazing up at the MaxxFan): I love our van. I don’t want it to leak.
Brooke: What’s been the best part of van life?
Doug: Waking up next to you every morning in someplace new.
Brooke: Gross, I can’t put that in the blog, people will barf. For me, it’s seeing new places! Especially after quarantine, and seeing the same places and having the same routine every day.
Doug: It’s all the best parts of camping, but we have all of our stuff with us. I’m not missing a single thing, except a hot shower, and that’s okay.
Brooke: What’s working well?
Doug: The fridge is excellent. The only problem with the MaxxFan is that it’s not built for a convex roof. [Author’s note: Hence the leak] This fan I’m very happy about. You paid $110 for it or something — it was worth every penny.
Brooke: Cause it just works well.
Doug: You can literally point it anywhere, and when we’re cooking, this was blowing it exactly out the exhaust fan, which is why we bought it. It worked fabulously in this area. All I had to do was cut away this.
Brooke: Yeah, that was a win. And fuckin Cyrix dude?
Doug: Yeah, that’s a great peace of mind. Ultimate win goes to the battery monitor for the peace of mind.
Brooke: Bam! I got something to add. And you have to write it word for word — that’s journalistic integrity. Fart fan [our clever nickname for the exhaust fan for our composting toilet ] is a win. And the shroud vent kicks ass.
Doug: The clamshell, you mean. The shroud is on the inside. [Author’s note: It took a lot of searching to find the right size clamshell vent cover for fart fan; this thing really was a lifesaver.]
Brooke: Oh shit, can you correct that? I’ll pay you money. Make me sound smart and sexy. Tibetan prayer flags, fairy lights, pins, and bumper stickers are all wins.
Doug: We don’t have bumper stickers.
Brooke (flicks the stickers on the visor): Oh, wait, those aren’t on the bumper. Would you say anything sucks yet?
Doug: There’s stuff I’m displeased with, recent leak notwithstanding.
Brooke: Nah, but I mean like, does anything suck?
Doug: Umm… no. The only thing that sucks is not being able to take a shower [Author’s note: We forgot the showerhead back in Jersey], and we do that by bathing in the river, which is actually a really cool experience.
Brooke: Bathing in a river with Dr. Bronhammy, it just makes you feel wild and free. [She takes the computer from Doug to find that he has written “Dr. Bronhammy” and not “Dr. Bronner’s,” as she said.] Bronhammy??
Doug: I know!
Brooke: You can’t do that!
Doug: I’m slighting journalism everywhere with that kinda move.
Brooke (musing): What sucks…
Doug: I don’t think anything sucks, to be honest. … I’m not blown away by anything; it’s nothing I wasn’t expecting. Just being immersed in the situation is just like, okay, we knew we were gonna be sharing a tiny space together, we knew we were gonna be making a bunch of noise in the middle of the night, we knew water was gonna be an issue, we knew, I mean… shitting isn’t really an issue, it’s pretty fun. [Author’s note: He is referring to shitting into our $1100 Airhead composting toilet that lives in our kitchen.]
Brooke and Doug laugh.
Doug: Your whole life, you shit and then it’s gone. There’s a certain like… attachment of shame to taking a shit, you know? Where it’s just like no, every single living creature has to do it.
Brooke: Can I go off the record? It’s pretty ironic that you got so pissed at your ex two years ago for taking a shit 10 feet away from your campsite, but now you shit IN OUR HOUSE.
Doug (laughs): You should put that in the blog! Life’s funny like that. Comes at ya fast. Brooke, what do you think sucks about van life?
Brooke (laughs): Nothing. Like you said, petty inconveniences. Last night I woke up at 2 a.m. and I had to pee and I had to walk like, what, 200 yards to the bathroom and I was like “mñweeeeeehhhh.”
Doug: And that just speaks to how much everybody’s addicted to convenience in our society. Because what are our problems right now? We have to go outdoors to take a piss, we have to find water, and doesn’t that just make us more grateful? Everything, say at my mom’s house, is really easy, and when it becomes routine you start taking the best things in life for granted. Like that meal we had the other night —
Brooke: Dude it was so tasty! We had a Knorr pasta side and scrambled eggs with peppers.
Doug: And considering everything that had happened up until then — [Author’s note: He’s referencing, of course, us realizing our propane tank didn’t fit our hose. We ended up buying a small canister of Coleman fuel until we can find an adapter for the propane tank or a different hose.]
Brooke: Yah dude, total win.